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Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Thursday, October 15, 2015

The Blessings of a Feral Cancer Cat



19 DAYS AND COUNTING
I cannot believe it's been nineteen days since Kara went Home. Nineteen days since we made the decision to put her to sleep before she suffered. I cannot help but feel at times she was stolen from us. We just didn't have her long enough. 
Then, I try to look at things with reason and logic. We had her seven months longer than we were supposed to, according to the veterinarian. So, oh, how we are thankful for that. 
And, if you knew Kara, you would know one day with her was larger than life and full of love. We had her one year and six days. Could we be more blessed? 
She knew a life she never had prior... and she had it for over a year. She knew love for the first time. She learned how to be loved and how to love extravagantly. Again... what blessings!
I should count the blessings we had with her and since. I shouldn't want her back. I should be grateful for what we had with her and how we can live fuller lives because of her. 
But, oh, how I miss her. The problem is there is so much to miss. Kara girl looked like the size of a kitten, but her heart and spirit were larger than Alaska. 
Rather than be sad, I try to count my blessings. 

THE CLAW
Yesterday I ripped off the bandage and did something B and I were not ready to do, but knew we had to... it was hard, but a blessing was found. Kara hung out mainly in our bedroom and in our guest bedroom, and sometimes in my study. So, yesterday, I decided to clean the sheets on the guest bed. 
Sinan, our other cat, came to give me a hand... I mean a paw. I'm not sure if he came to stop me or to hang out with me. He sniffed for her in all her favorite spots as I put my hand there and tried not to sob. His head fell forward and his shoulders slumped as we both looked and remembered. Then, as I pulled back the sheet to strip it from the bed and I gasped. I didn't expect it. I felt pure joy and anguish rush through my system at once in response. There was a claw there. 
I took it as a hug from the Lord.
I reached for it and added it to the baggy we have of a whisker and some of her fur we have found. Silly, I know. Some would say it's ridiculous. But, they are physical reminders of a cat who was here... a blessing from the Lord... and I want to count those blessings as much as I can as often as I can and those physical reminders help me to do so. Silly? Probably. But, if it deepens my faith and helps me appreciate my blessings, I would rather be silly and do silly things. It's worth it. 
A hug indeed. 

THE DIFFERENT SECTIONS OF THESE BLOG POSTS
I write each blog post throughout the day, a day to a couple of weeks before they post. And when I write them, I write them in segments. I write a section and then go do something else for a while (like reading the holy book and prayer, never mind housekeeping) and then come back to it. I do not write it all in one setting. Consequently, if you sense a change in my feelings or thoughts as you read, it's because an hour or more might pass between each segment or section. 

THE PLANS FOR BOOKS 1 AND 2: A BOOK OF FAITH AND AN INTERACTIVE DEVOTIONAL MEMOIR AND PET JOURNAL
Book 1: I am writing the first book in the Moments with Kara series as a book of faith, and will even talk about the Lord and prayer, and may even quote some Old Testament verses from time to time. But, I want to keep this generic enough anyone can read it and get a lot out of it, regardless of what one believes. I want faith in general and life to be the focus and the blessings and lessons received from Kara the feral cancer cat. 
Book 2: This will be a Christian focused book. It will be more of a devotional memoir of sorts, where you will interact with the book. 
I hope this helps you know my heart and where I am/we are headed and to know my present focus. 

COUNTING MY BLESSINGS DURING THIS SEASON OF THANKS
As I mentioned yesterday, I have tried the last couple of years to live a life of thanks, not just a holiday or season of thanksgiving. However, in October through the end of the year, I try to step it up a notch or two and count even more blessings. After all, every moment, in every situation, and in days of sun or days of rain (my way of saying good times and challenging times), it is important that o be thankful and show gratitude. Every moment is blessed. 
Every moment has its blessing. All. Without fail.
The catch is are we going to just let our blessings pass us by, or will we choose to look for them and count them? 
Just the thought of missing a blessing makes me sad. I don't ever want to miss one blessing. 
A blessing is when the Lord shows us favor. 
It's when He throws us a bone, so to speak. Or, is a hug from Him to us. It's how He shows us love and teaches us about Himself. He loves us unconditionally and without limit. Hence, He blesses us. And every moment is blessed. He wants to show us constantly how much He loves us. 
Kara is/was a very large blessing. She was for us and we were for her. She showed how blessed she knew she was. She purred almost non-stop. Even when her lungs were filled with cancer... Even as she died in B's arms and as she rubbed her face and head all over my hands... She died purring. She died showing love and counting her blessings in her own cat way. 
This is why it is so important for me to count my blessings... always... and especially until the end of the year as I try to count far more each day than I usually do. 
Will you join me and count our blessings this day? 

Blessings and Lessons #1 and #2: Thanksgiving and Love





Blessing and Lesson #1 Live a life of thanksgiving, not just a season

That's the first blessing I count and is the first lesson I want to mention because of Kara, our feral cancer cat.
Kara found my husband ("B") and I and we brought her into our garage for a couple of weeks while we helped her acclimate to being indoors and to us, and as we waited for her appointment with our veterinarian. It also gave her time for her meds to work to their full capacity. Then, we brought her into my study and locked her in there for a few days so she could acclimate to there and our Beatle and our orange cat.
She never looked back. She never tried to door dart and she grasped she was safe and had plenty of food and love. She was a completely different cat... almost immediately and over the last year.
Kara was feral. She had an opinionated demeanor and insisted on things going her way. Sure, this is true for any cat. But, put a cat inside permanently, after being an outdoor cat, and they are even more opinionated. Most of her behavior and attitude was out of self-defense and she slowly learned she had no threat in us or in our home.
We could tell how thoroughly grateful she was to no longer have to sleep with her head in the air and she didn't have to find food. But, she was far more grateful to be able to love and to be loved. This was how she lived with us and was how she died with us. Thankful. Loved and loving.
Kara knew where she was and came from and she lived fully a life of thanks. She could have swelled on what was. She had a horrible life until us. But, she didn't focus on that. She didn't look back. She was grateful for what she had now.

BLESSING AND LESSON #2: LOVE AND BE LOVED
Kara learned how to give unconditional love and how to receive it.
She never knew love before us. We know she was abused, for the way she cowered at first if we made fast movements and the way she always held her down to show she was contrite and humble. She also was fixed and declared. So, this shows she had another human in her life. They probably dumped her because either they didn't know how to handle a deaf cat, or because they were moving in our community that had a lot of military, or they knew she had cancer. Therefore, she didn't know the fullness of love a human could give her. Not until B and me.
Once we convinced her we were no threat and would never hit her or dump her, she thrived. And she knew love and she loved. And it was thorough and unconditional.
I cannot imagine being about ten years old and never knowing love.
It breaks my heart to think. I'm getting weepy at the thought.
Do I know what's it means to fully love and be loved? At first blush, I would say no, if you were to ask me right now. Then, I picture girlie and I smile. My heart warms. You bet I know! It's because of Kara.
I am thankful for Kara teaching me to live a life of thanks and blessing... and for teaching me how to fully love and be loved.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

The Blessings and Lessons Learned from Kara: Live a Life of Thanksgiving



THE BLESSINGS AND LESSONS FROM KARA: LIVE A LIFE OF THANKSGIVING

Written on October 14, 2015, Wednesday, 758 a.m.

A SEASON AND LIFE OF THANKSGIVING
Fall is my favorite season of the year and Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Therefore, this is my absolute favorite time of year.
Even though Kara went Home at his time of year, I will choose to not allow it to shadow on his time of year. She wouldn't want that. (Never mind how she doesn't deserve that either.) Rather, I am choosing to allow her passing to count even more blessings. After all, that's the reason why this is my favorite time of year.
I started daily counting my blessings two years ago in 2013 and it is a practice I still do today. Some days I may not count one on the page, but I sure look for the blessings in each moment and I do my best to count them and not allow them to pass by and miss them. Giving thanks is the one thing that helps far more than I can express or comprehend to bring peace and joy to every situation, no matter how much of a challenge a situation might be.
A day or two after Kara died, I woke with this thought and prayer:
"Thank You, Lord, for this day to remember Kara and count my blessings of her. I will live a better life because of her and for her."
She and her memory deserve no less. Hence, I am going to put this into practice in this memoir about our moments with Kara (then, now, and in the future). This is, and will be, an inspirational memoir of giving thanks (counting our blessings). I will live a life of gratitude because of her and this blog post to book memoir is about my story as I try to do so.
Given that it's almost the middle of October, I want to count as many blessings for and about Kara between now and Thanksgiving. It gives me 43 days to count as many blessings as possible.
This is exciting. I will turn my grief into gratitude and will do it in her name.
Care to join me in counting thanks for the blessings of every moment throughout our day (and night) for the next 43 days?
Care to join me in living a life of giving thanks, not just a season of giving thanks?
Let's do it because of a seven pound elderly cat who succumbed to breast and lung cancer... and for whatever reasons you can think of to live a life of gratitude rather than complaint.
Shall we?
Let's get started counting our blessings.

The Blessings of Kara and the Lessons Learned

This is my focus in October and November.